Remaining Steadfast

Have you ever felt emotionally or even spiritually "blah"? Like you aren't making an impact on people's lives? Like God isn't working in your life or at least you arem't seeing anyone benefit from your actions? You just seem to float through life. Life doesn't have to be routine or even boring to feel this way. It can be stressful and challenging and yet you still feel... blah!

This has been me for the past month. It is one of the reasons I haven't had much to write. I don't feel like God is working much in my life. It isn't that He isn't there. It's that I don't feel Him. I can see how He is providing for me (all the substitutes got a raise!), how He is caring for me (I have great friends to keep me company even when I feel alone) but I don't feel it. I certainly don't feel like I have learned anything new or made any great stride in my relationship with Him. No revelations here. Just plain old daily life, which in my world is not really all that plain.

I've been through times like this before. Everyone has cycles in their relationships. Times when everything is really great, times when things are not great at all, and then times when you are somewhere in the middle. Who knows whether the next step will be up or down? Usually, in my relationship with God, these "dry spells" are preparation for a great conviction in my life. Some unique learning experience or life changing moment. Oh how I looked forward to that day!

Tonight at the hospitality house I attend, we talked about Titus. Unfortunately, I wasn't paying very good attention to the speaker (sorry Brian). My mind was wondering here, there, and the next place, never quite settling on anything specific. Then something caught my attention. Brian talked of remaining steadfast. He was referring to Paul's instructions to Titus; for him to remain steadfast even though the Cretans were well known as liars, and it would be difficult to get through to them. The word steadfast is what really caught me. Steadfast: marked by firm determination or resolution; not shakable. Usually, this word is used in hard times as a way to keep people strong. God used it in a different way in my mind. He reminded me that though I may feel like I am in a spiritual slump, it is all part of His perfect plan for me. He truly has something awesome planned for me, even if I can't see it just yet. I just need to remain steadfast so I can reach the next step, taking it one day at a time.